Don’t Waste Time on Things You Cannot Change

“Don’t waste time on things you cannot change.” I wish I could take credit for saying those words, but they’re lyrics in a song that, until recently, I’d never heard before, nor the singer who sang them.

I was driving on a lonely stretch of highway between Dorset and Baysville in a part of central Ontario known as The Muskokas—some people call it God’s Country. Many humans, seeking a respite from their busy lives, invade it for summer vacation; but there are lucky ones who are blessed to live there year round. On any given day you can see an abundance of deer, an array of birds of all colours and type, and if you’re lucky, a turtle crossing the highway. And on this particular day, I drove past an isolated pond filled with lily pads in full bloom, so much so that I couldn’t see the water that gave them life.

It was in this setting that I heard the words from the unknown song, and I spent the last thirty minutes of my two hour drive chewing on them.

Have I wasted my time on things I could not change? Of course…from suffering for eating the wrong food, like dairy laden pizza, fretting over my too-short hair cut, or worse, from hounding myself for uttering the wrong words.

The latter reminds me of a quote my best friend and mentor used to say, “Keep your words soft and sweet. You never know from day to day which ones you’ll have to eat!” As much as I hate to admit it, there have been times when I’ve spoken thoughtlessly or too quickly, perhaps out of anger, maybe out of fear or, regrettably, out of envy. If Lorna was alive today, she’d point her finger and say, “Ruth!” and say no more. I’d get the message, but the words were out and there was nothing I could do…or could I?

It’s true, we shouldn’t waste time on things we cannot change, but can we not learn from our mistakes, especially if it involves another? Hair will grow again. Digestive enzymes will remove the discomfort of lactose intolerance. Yet, too often we find it difficult to make amends, offer an apology or seek forgiveness when words have hurt.

“Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Proverbs 12:18 offers direction on what to do, and it would never be a waste of time.