Godbwye —“God be with ye”

On Saturday, October 22, the autumn sun peeked in and out of the clouds. The wind oscillated from gentle and accommodating to cold and brisk. The leaves radiated their brilliant fall colours. And my family said godbwye—goodbye—to my sister for the last time. Mary did not want any fuss, so family and friends stood at the edge of the Scattering Garden in Mount Pleasant Cemetery in London, Ontario as her ashes were scattered beneath her picture. And I sobbed.

Saying a final goodbye is so… final. And as I’ve struggled to make sense of Mary’s sudden illness and death, I found I had to put my faith to the test: to trust that God is always in control and He never makes mistakes. Indeed, He is the God of comfort and I couldn’t have walked this journey of a final goodbye without His presence in my life.

I’d like you to meet my sister through my eyes and my tribute to her.

Mary, what can I say that has not already been said? Perhaps feisty, determined, Dollar Store fanatic, and underneath that protective wall that you seldom allowed anyone access beyond, you were a softy! You weren’t fooling us! As your sister and brothers, we all knew it! All we had to do was look at Buster and how he responded to you, purring against your neck as you slept. He knew you loved him despite your ‘crotchety’ attitude—I say ‘crotchety’ because we all snickered despite our tears when my Doug prayed around your bedside as we held hands. And just like Buster, we knew you loved us. I’m sure I will struggle over the next days, weeks, months even years wishing I’d said this or that, wishing I’d done more with you; but I will also be remembering. The green tea and more green tea. The countless times of shopping at Wal-Mart. Shopping for your doll house furniture for the doll house you built. Watching a recorded movie while you slept through most of because you had already seen it but insisted I watch it anyway. Walking downtown and trying to keep up with you as you almost ran across the road even when the light was green! And feeding peanuts to the squirrels… they actually were waiting for you to come by! I miss you and will always have a void in my life, for you were my only sister and I loved you and I know in my heart-of-hearts you knew that. And that gives me peace.

As my older brother Doug said,
“She loved with her heart and soul and was ready to help when needed…. [She] took great pleasure in volunteering at a local hospital. She put the same love and compassion into her volunteering as she did everything else.”

Mary’s life was honoured on Saturday by St. Joseph’s Hospital when they flew their flag at half-mast in her memory. It publically acknowledged her love for others, and we felt privileged being able to call her our sister.

As my other brother, Lorne said the day after Mary died, “Today is a sad day,” I can only add that we will have many sad days as we relive our memories. I’m sure in time, we will laugh as we remember and the tears will be less. But for now, I welcome them as I mourn my loss and realize that I will no longer hear her call me Kiddo!

In a tribute to my sister’s love for the Irish, An Irish Blessing was included in her memorial announcement. I close my public mourning with that and a promise from God’s Word.

May the road rise up to meet you.
may the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face;
the rains fall soft upon your fields and until we meet again,
may God hold you in the palm of His hand.

* * *

The word of Jesus:

“Let not your heart be troubled:
ye believe in God, believe also in me.
In my Father’s house are many mansions: if it were not so,
I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.
And if I go and prepare a place for you,
I will come again, and receive you unto myself;
that where I am, there ye may be also.”
John 14:1-3 (KJV)

Love you, Mary