River Rules and Thankfulness

Thanksgiving is just around the corner and I’m drawn to the season and the beauty that we ‘northerners’ are privileged to enjoy. Of course one cannot but look in awe at the colours or feel a bite in the changed temperature—all part of the season—but are we not supposed to consider those things for which we should be thankful? When I began to make a list, I found it difficult to know where to begin, so, I began with this… a wonderful visit with my childhood friend a couple of weeks ago.

My long-time friend has moved into a newly-built home on a river in the Kawartha Lakes area, half-an-hour north of where I live. The home speaks of my friend’s giftedness in design and decor and of the builder’s skill in taking something from paper and birthing it. It is stunning, warm and inviting. We basked in the mid-September sun and enjoyed a great time of sharing and reminiscing.

Hours later, as  I was leaving and climbing the stone steps to my car, I noticed a sign on the outside wall of her home. It was a list of rules for living by a river—you know, the kind of signs that cause you to pause and read a thought-provoking list, whether it be house rules, cottage rules, or, as in this case, river rules. Among the many delightful suggestions (Listen to the birds. Take a nap. Read a book), I was drawn to the last one: Be grateful for this day. Interestingly enough, it did not say to be thankful for the day.

More out of curiosity than anything else, I checked out the meaning of the two words and discovered that there is a difference between being grateful and being thankful. I learned that although these two words share an element of positivity and are often used interchangeably—as I discovered in the Oxford Dictionary—they are actually quite different.

Being grateful or expressing gratitude is an action directed outwardly through one’s words or actions. If you want to be grateful, you need something outside yourself; you cannot induce this feeling on your own.

Being thankful or expressing thankfulness is an inward feeling of happiness. This feeling is induced on your own, without being dependent on others, although it can include an acknowledgment of thanks to someone.

Even so…

The statement on the river rules sign, Be grateful for this day, reminded me of two things: a sign that I have in my kitchen that reads, Cherish today, and the Thanksgiving season that is soon upon us. In retrospect, I had cherished the day that I’d had with my long-time friend and enjoyed a feeling of thanksgiving for the lovely time we’d spent together. And not surprisingly, my mind gravitated toward those countless things for which I am thankful.

I am sure you will agree with me that the starting point of one’s thankfulness will vary for each of us. I first considered my parents, my birth, my upbringing, and my years at home with three older siblings. Of course, there were bumps along the way—and to be sure, there were mountains…many of them!—but is there any point in focussing on those when one’s heart is focussing on thankfulness? I moved my thoughts from there to the first day I met my future husband (I was fourteen!). We met again when I was sixteen and we have never looked back. Our love for each other became grounded in our faith in Christ eight months into our marriage.

In time we were blessed with three wonderful children, and my thankfulness for each child that God entrusted me with is unending. A son-in-law and daughter-in-law, three grandchildren (now adults!) and a granddaughter-in-law have completed our family unit… thus far. If I were to consider the definition of thankfulness, I am indeed, experiencing an “inward feeling of happiness.”

Although it’s very likely I will leave something important off my list—and if I continue, I will likely do just that—I will simply conclude with the following: I am thankful for good health, a free country in which to live, a comfortable home, wonderful friends, and—most important of all— I am thankful for the grace of a loving, faithful and forgiving God who has promised never to leave me nor forsake me. Over the years as I’ve stored up countless things for which to be thankful, God’s grace still amazes me and leaves me grateful and, indeed, thankful for all that He has done in and for me. Is there anything more important in life for which to be thankful? I think not!

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
    his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness.
Lamentations 3:22-23

Let us come before him with thanksgiving and extol him with music and song.
 For the LORD is the great God, the great King above all gods.
Psalm 95:2-3

Steve Green:  Your Grace Still Amazes Me